2017, Chapter 2

January came, and January went. A blur of work, grey, and more work making way for the shortest month of the year.

I quite like February as month. Owing partially to its short length and partially because it feels like dawn. Just as February hit its peak I said to Mr M how Februarys feel like 5am in the summer. It’s a time when the light is just starting to break through, the birds are waking and filling the air with their songs, and everything feels stirring. The first signs of spring are slowly peering through the soil and the first sounds of life spring up in people’s gardens as they prepare for spring. It’s quite a month. Like a deep breath in before plunging into life. It’s just lovely.

As I mentioned before my lessons of January were not quite learnt in time for February. The work continued, both at work and at home, and it became more of a toil as the month rolled on. I felt quite bleak for a lot of the month, weighed down by the work and by the worries that life brings to an adult mind. There were, however, glimmers of light scattered through the month. It was the month that I learnt that I needed to focus on something other than work, it was the month of a scattering of snow, happy meals out with my family, and it was the month I learnt to laugh again. It felt so good to laugh.

After a few months of not knowing therefore not being able to get plans to settle we finally managed to pin down dates for fun adventures and a break away. It might only be a one night break so that I can run away and be by the sea for a while but I am so ready. I am ready to whip off my shoes, wriggle my toes into the sand and breathe in the salty air. I cannot wait. Sea air cleanses me more than anything else in this world. It blows away my cobwebs,  the dust gathering in my mind and grounds me quicker than gravity.

Towards the end of the month I took Mr M to see Jack Whitehall.  It was a present that I had bought him for Christmas and was something that crept up on me in a blur of work. I had been at work all day, finishing an intense 6 day week, and couldn’t have felt more like staying home and curling up under a duvet if I’d tried. But the tickets were bought and the husband was excited so I pushed through the tiredness (and grouchiness – I’m an absolute dream to live with) and headed out.

The show was fantastic. Jack Whitehall couldn’t have been funnier, and to add even more to the evening he had a surprised support act of Joe Lycett. I laughed so hard that night. I mean side splitting, belly laughs. The really sexy kind where you can’t breathe and your face goes red. My eyes streamed all night and by the end of it my stomach hurt.

As we left the venue and headed for home I felt suddenly lighter. The air felt warmer, the night felt younger and I felt like a million dollars. We walked through the streets hand in hand laughing at all the best bits and didn’t stop all the while we were on the tram or in the car until our heads hit our pillows. It was every bit of relief I had needed.

The end of the month was marked by Shrove Tuesday. Pancake day is one of my favourite days of the year and this year there was no holding back. We went all in with English and American pancakes, savoury and sweet. It felt good ending February on a sugary sweet high and to wake up to March the next day wondering how on earth it had arrived so soon.

If February was a colour it would be a light steely grey blue.